Services · Babies, Infants and Early Childhood
Understanding Big Feelings and Behaviour in Young Children
Young children are still learning to communicate, wait, cope with frustration and manage strong feelings. Sometimes those feelings come out through screaming, hitting, biting, throwing or refusing to do something.
This can be exhausting, especially when you are trying to keep everyone safe and nothing seems to help.
Understanding what is happening
We look at what happens before, during and after the behaviour. Hunger, tiredness, pain, sensory overload, communication difficulties, anxiety and developmental expectations may all matter.
We also consider what your child is trying to obtain, avoid or communicate. The same behaviour can have different causes on different days.
How we can help
Support begins with understanding your child and choosing practical goals. We may work on predictable routines, clearer communication, manageable expectations and teaching alternatives such as asking for help or requesting a break.
Parent support can include staying steady during distress, helping your child settle, responding consistently and setting boundaries around unsafe actions. When your child is calm, there is more opportunity to practise new skills.
The aim is to reduce distress and build skills while supporting your relationship. It is not about blaming parents or expecting young children to manage feelings beyond their developmental ability.
Behaviour gives us information
A child who hits when another child takes a toy may need help asking for a turn. A child who screams during hair washing may be distressed by sensations or a previous uncomfortable experience. These situations may look similar from the outside but need different support.
We look for patterns without expecting you to document every moment of the day. A few examples of what happened, what your child needed and what helped can be a useful starting point.
Helping during distress and teaching afterwards
When a child is overwhelmed, long explanations and repeated instructions may be difficult to process. We can help you choose short, clear language, reduce unnecessary demands and keep people safe while your child settles.
Teaching often happens later, during calm moments. Your child may practise asking for help, waiting briefly, choosing between two options or moving to a quieter space. Parents can encourage these skills and provide enough support for the child to succeed.
Consistent limits still matter. We help you find boundaries that are clear and realistic for your child's development, with responses that do not depend on frightening, shaming or escalating the situation.
Looking after the parent-child relationship
Repeated conflict can leave both of you expecting the next difficult moment. Making time for enjoyable interaction and noticing what your child does well can support the relationship alongside behaviour work.
Your clinician may use evidence-based behavioural parenting strategies and developmentally appropriate activities, adapted to the reasons for the behaviour. If there are broader questions about language, hearing, development or health, we can discuss the appropriate assessment or referral. Seeking help with behaviour does not mean you have failed as a parent; it gives you space to understand the pattern and try a more workable plan.
Common questions
Does difficult behaviour mean my child has a diagnosis?
No. We look at the pattern, development and context before drawing conclusions.
What if someone is getting hurt?
Tell us when you enquire so we can consider urgency, suitability and practical safety planning. Immediate danger requires urgent assistance rather than waiting for a routine appointment.
Ready to take the next step
Appointments are available at North Lakes and online where appropriate, depending on the clinician and service. Call 1300 366 614.
New to the clinic? Read what happens at your first appointment, or see fees and rebates.
